It’s Friday! Let’s F*ck Some Sh*t Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
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🔥 SEX – In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
Own your pleasure. It’s yours to enjoy. Therefore, it’s your responsibility.
So often, we give the full power of our pleasure over to our partners. And when they don’t live up to our (generally uncommunicated) expectations, we either blame and resent them or weaponize it against ourselves. Either something’s wrong with them because they didn’t provide you with the pleasure you were seeking, or something’s wrong with you.
But none of that is really true. It’s just that you were operating under the belief that your pleasure was their responsibility, which makes sense. It’s what we’re conditioned to believe. We leave it up to them to determine what we feel…and then get pissed when they don’t make us feel what we want to feel.
It’s not their responsibility, though. And it’s not even within their control.
I know you’ll want to argue with that point, but how many times have you been with a partner and things aren’t going exactly the way you want them to, yet you don’t speak up. You fake an orgasm just to get it over with. You pretend things are fine when they’re not. You’re not at all into something but go along with it just to avoid ruffling feathers.
And then you resent your partner for not doing things the right way.
Stop handing over the power of your pleasure. Reclaim the reigns. Take ownership of your own pleasure.
*If your knee-jerk reaction to that is “FUCKING HOW???” you need to join Project Reclamation. 🔥
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💖 SELF-CARE – In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
What are you not saying?
That deep, inner truth that you’ve known for a while but you’ve been afraid to admit: What is it?
Are you even being honest with yourself about it?
We’re socialized to hold ourselves back, to keep the peace, and to put others’ needs ahead of our own. And we’re told that doing so makes us “good.”
But putting yourself aside doesn’t make you “good.” All it does is make you exhausted. And likely resentful.
So whatever came to mind in response to those questions, get clear on it. Do some stream-of-consciousness writing on the answers and why you’ve been holding back — what you’re afraid of happening if you speak up. (I call this a chronicle, by the way. By writing out your thoughts, without editing them, you’re tapping into your own ancient wisdom held within your socialized narratives.)
Then ask yourself how likely that thing you fear is to happen. And if it did happen, what you’d do next.
That “what happens next” bit is crucial to moving through and past the fear. Because our brains LOVE to drop us in the big, scary moment and just leave us there, which essentially just creates paralysis.
But by asking what happens next and truly answering it for yourself, you’ll tap into planning mode rather than fear mode and prove to yourself that you’ll be able to survive whatever it is you’re afraid of. You’ll be safe.
This is the kind of shit I work on with my clients in both group programs I offer, during retreats, and in a 1:1 setting. I know it can be extremely challenging to do on your own. It’s also extremely powerful work. So, if you’d like support with it, send me a message, and we’ll talk about how I can best offer that to you. 💖
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💸 SALES – Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Email or DM me, and I’ll send you my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice.
My DMs have been absolutely FLOODED lately with “My business isn’t working and I’m failing” kinds of messages.
And if that’s the current state you’re in, I want to ask you this: How do you show up to your business from that emotional state?
My guess: YOU DON’T.
Or if you do, it’s from a graspy, desperate, maybe even pushy kind of place. And that does both you and your clients a massive disservice. Because it’s not connecting to them. It’s not in service of them.
And people only buy when they know what you’re offering is in service of THEM. They’re not going to buy just to do something in service of YOU.
Think about the last time something went well in your business. What did that feel like?
When you’re in that emotional state, what behaviors do you engage in? And what behaviors do you specifically NOT engage in?
I’m betting that you do things like showing the fuck up and you specifically DON’T do things like beating yourself up and spinning in self-pity.
That list of behaviors you do engage in: DO MORE OF THAT.
Because the truth is, you know what to do. You know what works for your business. And it’s not living in the land of self-sabotage.
I know. It’s easier said than done. And trying to do it yourself is often futile. I got you. The 2024 cohort of SellingU starts in March. Get on the registration list here. 💸
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✨ SPELL – Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a new moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
NEW MOON RITUAL
The new moon is an excellent time to focus on what you want to create, achieve, or accomplish. You can get fancy with your rituals, and if you’re into altar work, crystal work, or any other kind of spiritual work, please feel free to incorporate it. Personally, I like to keep things simple.
Supplies: paper, pen, glass of water that you’ll drink
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else.
Write out what it is you want to create, achieve, or accomplish. This can be big or small. It can be for the lunar cycle beginning with this new moon, the next six months, the next calendar year, or a lifelong dream.
Read what you’ve written—out loud—over your glass of water. Then drink the water.
So your New Year’s resolutions are already balled up and tossed into the fire, eh?
Excellent. Fuck New Year’s resolutions.
Stop making it about one day of massive change all at once. You are not ever going to wake up on January 1 a different person than you were on December 31. No matter how resolute you feel about whatever big changes you think you’re going to make in one fucking day, it’s not gonna happen.
Slow, steady progress with consistent micro-actions taken over time is how you create or achieve whatever you’re after.
This new moon, I invite you to consider what big change you thought you were into for the new year, and what micro-actions you can actually commit to. Like, in real life.
You’ve got some time to think about this. The new moon is NEXT Friday, February 9. And I thought about sending this email next week, in order to really align with the new moon, but I want to give you some time with this.
Truly consider what the big thing is, and what tiny steps you can actually commit to. Then use the new moon ritual to initiate your commitment.
If you want some accountability with it, go ahead and send me a message and tell me what micro-actions you’re committing to. (Not the big goal. I don’t give a fuck about the big goal. I want the teeeny tiny, ultra-doable, actually fits into your real life shit that you can tangibly commit to.) ✨
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✊ STATECRAFT – Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
I’m so tempted to do a third focus on hexing Trump. I mean, COME ON! He just keeps getting worse!
But if we only focus on him, we disregard all the other assholes whose power we want to revoke. So this week, we’re hexing Ron Desantis.
I know, we’ve hexed him in the past. But his “I’ll never kiss the ring” vibe while literally kneeling and putting his lips to the metal is obscene.
Let’s hope he doesn’t have a career after this. Hex away, my darling love bugs!
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
